i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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