I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
