I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
