All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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