sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
