I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize