Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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