you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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