Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
