There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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