They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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