is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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