note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
