I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize