what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want nice things and good sex
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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