I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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