STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
