Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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