dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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