I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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