I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's shark week go big or go home
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
