Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize