Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have aggressive nipples.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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