so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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