Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
