I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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