If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
