My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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