your thong is hanging out like whoa
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
