She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Houston, we have a squirter
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
