I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We have so much sex to catch up on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize