why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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