Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
