sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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