The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
