You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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