Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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