You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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