Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
