Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
