cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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