Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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