so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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