Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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