i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Are my feet made of real feet?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
