His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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