Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize