Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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