having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
