belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize