But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
