If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize