he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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