We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
