I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
