i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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