I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
