I wish my penis had an off switch
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
