Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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