So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
