I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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