I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
