I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
