Having a random hookup so left but love u
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize