Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
