His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
