I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
