i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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