Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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