i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
