# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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