We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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