I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
