when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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