i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
